Waiting to Exhale: The Equal Yolking of Platonic and Romantic Relationships
As society socializes women to be the best wife, how can we remember to also be the best friend?
In the 1995 dramatic romcom Waiting to Exhale, Whitney Houston, Angela Bassett, Lela Rochon, and Loretta Devine display four friends navigating love and life, as adapted from the 1992 novel by Terry McMillan.
Whitney Houston portrays Savannah, a beautiful woman waiting for her lover to leave his wife for her. Angela Bassett plays Bernadine, whose husband divorces her for his white secretary. Lela Rochon plays Robin, who in her midst of fuckboys, is trying to find Prince Charming. And last, but not least, Loretta Devine plays Gloria, who discovers her ex-husband - who she still yearns for - isn’t bisexual, but actually gay.
In a society that grooms women to position themselves to be “picked” by men, women are often pitted against each other in the competition of love. We’re told our ultimate goal is to be a wife and mother, and many of us exalt romantic love while forgetting to nurture our friendships. Our girlfriends hit the back burner in the chase of a suitor - who may - or may not - even be worthy. But, it doesn’t matter; as long as we’ve earned a man’s desirability or that shiny diamond on our finger.
But in this film, the women’s friendships feel like home. Whenever their love lives crumble or betray them, they seek love and nourishment from each other. The women were the rock solid foundation for each other through thick and thin. Even their fiery disagreements were driven by passion and love in the best interest of their friend.
The friendships weren’t judgmental. Each woman’s love life was advised with neutrality and respect - no matter how messy! And whether the romance fell apart or came together, their girls were waiting on the side to carry them.
Waiting to Exhale is a masterful story about the brevity of friendship that’s often forgotten in romcoms - the literal point of the genre is to chase and acquire love through trials and tribulations. But, the ending here wasn’t love, it was friendship. That their love as women was what was truly eternal as the men were often passing ships in the sea. Their love as women revealed their strengths and weaknesses, so they could become the women they needed to be, to call in healthy love, whether or not we as the audience witnessed it happen for each character.
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justlatasha.com
Your article felt like a warm exhale itself. You captured the heartbeat of the film, how sisterhood held space where romance failed to. The love between women wasn’t the subplot, it was the story.
Though I was 3 years old when this film made its debut, once I was old enough to understand and appreciate the complex relationships, I fell in love. The first time I saw “Waiting to Exhale” was on the couch next to my mother, watching the look on her face when Angela Bassett ransacked her husbands closet throwing his things into the car because she was facing a similar situation. I also saw the look on her face when the ladies all danced with their wine being each others safe space in that living room scene. Now, this movie is my comfort film when I’m in need of a feel of sisterhood that I may not have direct access to at the moment. Wishing a friendship like the women in this movie had on every black woman.